please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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