Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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