Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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