I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
