I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
