i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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