she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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