3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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