Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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