If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Alive.
So much puke
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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