we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
