SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
