You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
