atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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