I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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