$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
