i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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