NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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