I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
