It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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