i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
