remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
