And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
