You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize