Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
