Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Buhtt sex?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize