I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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