Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
