She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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