i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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