You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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