a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
