If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
