Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
