so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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