when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
