Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..

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(215): I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere.. http://tfl.nu/8h2a

Replies (13) Good night (709) Bad night (1415)
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(248): View more from Michigan

just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy

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(248): just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy http://tfl.nu/dtdn

Replies (17) Good night (4960) Bad night (507)
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(660): View more from Missouri

He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"

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(660): He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean" http://tfl.nu/dsnf

Replies (33) Good night (1247) Bad night (12398)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.

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(308): Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/konb

Replies (8) Good night (3452) Bad night (892)
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(805): View more from California

Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate

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(805): Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate http://tfl.nu/qxeb

Replies (5) Good night (1952) Bad night (528)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.

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(828): I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since. http://tfl.nu/iexd

Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (1283)
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(941): View more from Florida

I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.

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(941): I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention. http://tfl.nu/43cq

Replies (8) Good night (1062) Bad night (504)
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(248): View more from Michigan

She's the worst person, but the best naked person

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(248): She's the worst person, but the best naked person http://tfl.nu/e5d7

Replies (7) Good night (1691) Bad night (433)
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(831): View more from California

He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!

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(831): He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?! http://tfl.nu/h0ux

Replies (20) Good night (551) Bad night (1164)
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(916): View more from California

I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want

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(916): I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want http://tfl.nu/luqp

Replies (7) Good night (1040) Bad night (419)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds

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(616): Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds http://tfl.nu/472x

Replies (9) Good night (1198) Bad night (537)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?

(708): View more from Illinois

Most creative movie date proposition... ever.

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(630): Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes? (708): Most creative movie date proposition... ever. http://tfl.nu/whek

Replies (6) Good night (1704) Bad night (903)
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(831): View more from California

ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.

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(831): ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty. http://tfl.nu/yaxr

Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (255)
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(347): View more from New York

Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting

(1-347): View more from New York

Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?

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(347): Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting (1-347): Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks? http://tfl.nu/86eo

Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (281)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

But there's never enough margarita money.

(1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it

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(321): But there's never enough margarita money. (1-321): This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it http://tfl.nu/kuzp

Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (152)

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