turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
