Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
