I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
