Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize