My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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