wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
