my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
