the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
