Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
