first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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