I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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