I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
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but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
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Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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