i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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