he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
