The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
