I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
