he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
