She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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