You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
