I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
