the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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